nightmare part one

It's like a 1950s sitcom: you wake up and hear the birds chirping, the music swaying into an upbeat song, and everyone is walking around outside, happy as can be. You hear the neighbors outside telling each other good morning, and you grin wildly. Gosh golly, your neighbors are just so happy! And so are you, why wouldn't you be? The birds are singing, the sky is blue, and you're alive! What a wonderful time! Such a wonderful, wonderful time!

You happily get out of bed and walk over to your closet with practically a skip as you pick out the outfit for the day, and head in for a shower. The shower is a perfect temperature, and the song you sing i the shower happily just happens to be the perfect tune, not a note is off key. Wow, what a wonderful and fantastic day you are going to have today! You are sure gosh golly lucky to be alive. What a lucky guy you are. So, very, very lucky.

You get out of the shower, and you dry off. You brush your teeth while humming a song, and you make sure to take your mandated happy pill once you're done. Why would anyone ever want to feel sad? Happy is a great way of life! Everything is great in this world, and it's filled with beauty, so why would you ever want to see it any other way? You walk happily out of the bathroom with a bounce in your step and you dress for the day. Wearing a happy shirt with a little character on it saying 'Everyday is a Happy Day!' and your favorite pair of jeans and sneakers, you finally head out of the bedroom, grabbing your phone and your wallet on the way. Everything good has it's place, and gosh, every place has something good.

As you slide down the banister of the stairs in your home, it's almost as if you hear the laugh track of an old sitcom, as you head through the kitchen, grab an apple - no more alcohol, it's not good for you at all, and who would want to put something bad into their bodies like that? - and head into the living room, where there is a blonde woman sitting on the couch.

You round the couch and you catch full look of her; her hair up in a rockabilly up-do, wearing an electric blue poodle skirt and a black form-fitting blouse. She looks up at you with deep red lipstick and grins, "Hi, honey!" Gosh, aren't you lucky to have such a wonderful gal? She's so good to you and keeps you so happy and content, and you're just the happiest guy in the world! Everything is so happy. So, so, happy.

You wave a hello to her, but she pulls you by the arm and kisses you deep on the lips, her lipstick staining your own lips, and she giggles as she wipes it off of you. "Oh shoot, I got it all over you, sweetie! I'm so sorry, let me fix that for you!" She says happily, oh so happily, as you stay put for a moment, and when she's done, she stands up, "Well I'm off to work! Not much to do these days at the agency, since everyone is so happy all the time, there's no crime! But a girl has to work, right?" She giggles again, and looks at you with big bright eyes, and you grin back. Gosh, how perfect this life is! It's so perfect, it's like a dream come true!

You watch as she leaves the couch and heads towards the front door to go to work. Gosh, isn't she swell? You hear the door shut and you finish your apple, and you get up off the couch to bring the apple core to the trash can in the kitchen. As you toss the core into the trash, your phone rings. It's your good friend Jack, inviting you to go out to the park! He suggests flying kites and skipping around happily singing songs, and you both lament that your gal Tara can't join you, but gosh golly she might be able to next time! You happily tell your pal you'll meet him at the park, and you grab your trusty jacket as you head out the door.

As you walk out the door, your neighbors are greeting you as you walk past your front yard -- wait a second, you don't remember having a front yard. There's a picket fence here, there's a car parked in the driveway, and you live in a neighborhood where all the houses look the same. "Hey pal, you alright?" Your neighbor asks, and suddenly everyone has stopped and turned to look at you. Your eyes dart back and forth for a moment before you nod, "Yeah! Everything is great! It's a beautiful day!" You say excitedly and everyone shoots back to action again, your small moment of confusion completely gone. Gosh, everything is so happy and beautiful here, you think. This is really the perfect life.

You soon walk down to the park to meet your buddy, and you do to exactly what you planned, you have a buddy picnic and fly kites, and talk excitedly about the newest non-violent video game you're bringing to your bar. Everything has to be happy and safe! Nothing is allowed to go wrong, because this is a happy and wonderful world! Gosh, you really do love being here. You love your life, you love how happy you are, and you have great friends and a great girlfriend. Isn't it amazing being happy?

Soon you and Jack part ways, he's off to go hang out with some of his other happy friends, and you are off to see who else you can hang out with on this lovely day. On your way out of the park, you run into Tara, and she happily hugs you. Such lovely public display of affection! You love those!

Wait. No you don't. What's going on? Since when is she so...like this?

"Drew! Darling! Come home and make sweet beautiful love to me!" She says happily, clinging to you tightly, and you grin, once again shaking off your weird feeling. Of course everything is as it should be! This life is a happy one, aren't you glad to see what happens when you let yourself be happy!

"Sure thing, sweetie pie!" You say back, and you practically skip back to your beautiful home with the white picket fence that looks like everyone else's home.

As you head up the front steps, a young man drives by and throws the newspaper towards you, "Heads up, Mr. Powers!" The boy yells as he tosses the paper and you grin, "Thanks, kid!" You try to catch the paper but you don't, and it hits you square in the head. It feels as though there was a rock wrapped up in the newspaper and Tara turns to look at you, and pulls you inside.

"No one can see you looking less than perfect, let's fix you right up and get you back up to happy! I'll go get your joy pill!"

"Okay, love of my life!" You say as she heads up the stairs and you head into the living room.

You stop dead in your tracks. Wait. Did you just call her your love of your life? You just started dating. What the fuck? And wait, did she say joy pill? Wait a second, isn't that from a video game?

Suddenly your mood drops, and you realize what is going on. This perfect life isn't real. This perfect happiness doesn't exist. Everything that you have feared is coming true, that being happy truly can change you. You turn to see Tara coming through the living room with bandages and a bottle of pills and she asks you to sit down. "Let me fix you up, and we'll get you back and happy in no time!" She says, as she hands you the pill bottle.

You stare at it for a moment, and you shake your head in refusal.

"Andrew, you need to take them." She says, her voice still sweet, and now you know this isn't real. No one calls you Andrew. You hate that name, and she knows it.

"No, Tara. What has gotten into you?"

"I'm happy! Aren't you happy? You need to be happy, everything is better when you're happy," She says, as she takes a step closer to you. You back away. "Where do you think you're going?" Her voice darkens and you run.

You run out the front door and see that every neighbor in the neighborhood is now at your front door, with guns, knives, and baseball bats.

Because they can't have you being unhappy, you have to be just like everyone else.

Panicking, you run, and they chase after you, with Tara and Jack leading the pack of angry villagers. They're screaming that you disrupted their perfect little world, and you'll have to die for it. How dare you not want to be happy?

You're without your teleporter, you're without guns. You have nowhere to go, but you keep running in hopes you end up somewhere safe.

You're fucked.